The New Psychology of Money by Adrian Furnham

Author:Adrian Furnham [Furnham, Adrian]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781135050115
Publisher: Taylor and Francis
Published: 2014-05-08T14:00:00+00:00

Poor little rich kids

There is no shortage of books written by therapists on the psychology of affluence and the problems it brings. Hausner (1990) proposed a nine-point plan to help parents raise what she called “The Children of Paradise” – namely children from prosperous families.

O’Neill (1999) notes that the “monied class” often find themselves in a “golden ghetto” where this select group are separated from the majority. Children in the golden ghetto get isolated and marginalised from most people in society. They can feel discriminated against by envious others with whom they feel uncomfortable. She argues that the idea that affluence is synonymous with happiness as a “persistent and pernicious cultural myth” (p. 50).

O’Neill believes that the psychological dysfunctions of affluence are: absentee, workaholic parents and distrust of others – and these can easily get passed on. Equally, sudden wealth (acquired through inheritance, lottery wins) can create a false sense of entitlement, a loss of motivation and increasing intolerance of frustration. Inheriting money can damage self-esteem, worth and confidence because the inheritors are not sure if they could have made it on their own or whether people treat them differently because of their money. They never know the answers to such questions as: “Did I succeed?” or “Did my money buy success?”; “Do they love me because of who I am?” or “because I am rich”; “Is he merely a gigolo after my money?” or “Is this true love?” Indeed, society is often highly ambivalent towards the wealthy – exhibiting wealthism, hence the idle rich. There is abundant evidence of anger, envy and resentment of the rich.

O’Neill argues that family wealth founders have a “never enough” mentality that can reflect addictive or compulsive elements. It is also often driven by a narcissistic need to be special.

Poor little rich kids – once made popular by the cartoon Richy Rich – often report “empty childhoods” with missing parents, a sense of lack of love and low self-esteem. Their special privileges can lead to social and emotional isolation from others their own age and hence difficulty interacting with them. This can lead to shame. More interaction with surrogate caretakers (tutors, nannies) means they often have problems with personal identity. They don’t identify with their parents or pick up their values and beliefs. They can and do experience a sense ofemotional abandonment or, worse, emotional incest where the parent gratifies their own unmet needs for emotional intimacy at the expense of the child’s needs and emotional security.

Hence isolated and confused children are easily prone to anxiety and depression because of the void many feel by being deprived of parental attention, care and love. Also, according to O’Neill (1999), because affluent children experience so little “healthy frustration” and so few setbacks, as well as having most experiential and material desires fulfilled, they develop unrealistic expectations as well as a lack of personal accountability. This can lead to the “perennial child” syndrome. As a consequence they seem very poor at forming, maintaining and thriving in intimate relationships.

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